more drama than your mama

Have you ever seen an NBA game where the announcers say they try to limit a players minutes at crunch time? It’s all about who you trust to be out there on the court, you don’t want the rookie, or the practice squad player put in the position where they have to win the game. So you limit their involvement. It’s just smart coaching, right?

Okay, now that you agree with me, I have news about our new team philosophy.
We now have added some more folks to the team to work this plan. See, if you a team full of people that shouldn’t be playing important points, just get even more of those people. Now not only do none of the players have to play very much on the important points of the game, they don’t have to play much at all at any point of the game. Another great outcome of new players is they don’t have baggage. If you keep thinking to yourself on the field, “oh yeah, I shouldn’t throw to him, he’s very short and looks foreign”, or “he’s just going to fake that lefty huck and then turf a forehand so I don’t need to cut” or “she’s always hurt so she might not lay out or maybe she’s hurt because she always lays out so I might hurt her if I make her lay out.” The team starts to fall apart from thinking. Best case scenario is we will go around the stretching circle before every game to introduce a new Jet.

It works out like a curve, with a savage team playing every point and losing, once you have a team reach a certain terminal size, then theoretically no one has to ever play a point. So once we pick up a few more players for Sectionals, there’s no way we can lose.

From now on, severe penalties will be enforced for any Jets player who eats potatoes.
That means no freedom fries, mashed potatoes, hash browns, or potato chips. I think Pringles are still okay since they aren't really made of potatoes.
I'll be damned if that state gets any more of our money.